The human mind is capable of anything and is uncontrollable most of the times. When you’re angry or in pain because of someone, you can’t control what you’re thinking. People might see that you’re calm, but your mind on the inside might be thinking about doing something bad to that someone who’s the reason behind your pain. Later when all that happens, there’ll be a peaceful moment, and that’s when you realise that what you did was wrong. Things always get out of control when you’re in too much pain and in the heat of the moment, you do things you’ll regret later.

DISHONOUR is one of the reasons that can cause pain. It is a very big word for some people in India, and also in other places around the world. People even kill themselves or kill others rather than face dishonour. But, my question is: Is it really worth killing your own family for honour???

There was this incident that happened somewhere in South India, where people still have a lot of feelings towards their caste and impose restrictions when it comes to marriages. People who belong to a caste can only marry from the same caste. Our parents have a traditional mindset and they follow our traditions and cultures so well. That’s really very good but when it comes to marriages, they don’t back down. They know exactly what they want to do and they think there’s nothing stopping them from doing it.

There was an incident involving a 20-year old girl who fell in love with a guy from the same college she was studying, but he belonged to a different caste. They got married without their families’ consent. And a few days later, the father attacked his own daughter and her just-married husband in broad daylight. There were a lot of people walking around in that area where it happened, but they were just silent and nobody even tried to stop him.

After their marriage, the bride’s father actually threatened the couple once or twice. So, they filed a complaint against him. Even after the warning that he got from the police, her father tried to kill the couple. This is what DISHONOUR does to people. The embarrassment they feel when something like this happens is just too painful for them and they decide to kill just for that. I feel these people are scared about what the society talks about them. Some people care too much about what other people think about them. This leads to many worse things and this incident is just one example.

If someone’s scared of their own father, there’s nothing scarier than that. There’s no rule that the children, even after 20 years, have to follow everything that their parents say. I’m not saying it’s bad, but it’s not good either, when the father forces you to marry someone whom you don’t like/want to. I think every family needs to give some freedom to their children. Let them do things on their own, decide things on their own. And when the time comes for them to make a big decision, they’ll definitely consult their parents. Because there’s nobody else in this world who can understand children like parents do.

And taking their lives isn’t gonna change anything. Sit together, talk and decide what should happen next. If only every family is matured enough to sit and talk about problems like this, our country should’ve been watching fewer horror shows like this on TV news. Not everyone thinks the same about these incidents. And the way these news channels keep on debating about this stuff on TV is just pathetic. It just messes with some people’s minds and the result is that it’s going to increase the percentage of racism in our country, which is no good for anyone.

Some hard facts about honour killing:

  • The United Nations Population Fund estimates that 5,000 women are victims of honour killings every year.
  • There has been more than 300 honour killing cases in India from between 2015–2018.
  • In Jordan and Lebanon, 70–75% of the perpetrators of these honour killings were the women’s brothers.

As you can see, it’s not just happening in India, it’s everywhere around the world. But, I think I see a lot of change in our generation. Most people these days know what’s wrong and what’s right. Except for our parents and grandparents, our minds aren’t filled with those horrible thoughts. I guess it’s safe to say, our future looks good.

Finally, I just want to say, what’s happening here is so serious than we all think it is, and it really needs to stop. There should be some kind of serious action taken when someone tries to do this again. Execute or Encounter or Decapitation, whatever it is — Sometimes it’s okay to be rude, but not to the extent of killing your children.

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