You are invited to attend an event that is happening at your friend’s place. You start to think that you are going to have some good time, talk to people, and make some connections. But when you are actually there, things don’t seem to be going according to you. You end up in that awkward situation where everyone is talking and having fun and you are just sipping on your beer, looking at everyone, not speaking a word. On the other hand, there’s another person who has just light up the room the moment s/he walked in, making everybody feel involved, comfortable, and welcome.
You come back home and start thinking about whether you will ever be able to become that fun, likeable person.
To help you with just that, we have come up with a few key social skills that would help you hone your personality and become the most likeable folk in the room.
There Is A Reason Why Smile Is Considered To Be the Universal Way To Display Joy
Smiling is considered to be a fundamental component of communication in every human society. It is not only one of the most important things when you are meeting an individual or a group of people, but there are also some other things where smile makes a great impact.
According to a report, a genuine, big smile (not a crazy one though) builds trustworthiness and helps in gaining more friends than a long face. Another report, suggests that when you smile, a small rush of endorphin is produced that triggers positive feelings, lower your stress levels, and improves your mood. And guess what, even a fake smile works almost the same when it comes to reducing stress.
When someone smiles, people get attracted to them — the smiling person makes people want to know them and why they radiate happiness. So, next time when you someone, don’t forget to smile and greet.
People complain about everything under the sun. But why we all do that? Because we take it as a way to release stress, it feels good, require minimal risk, and it’s easy!
However, this feeling-good thing has a very adverse effect on us. The more we complain, the more we ruin our mental state and way of thinking. And it eventually leads to making us not much of a people person.
According to a research by Stanford University, complaining doesn’t do good to our mental health. When we complain, our stress hormones are released by our brain which leads to damaging our neural connections.
Furthermore, people who complain also harm the mental state of listeners. How? When people are exposed to negativity neurons in the hippocampus (a major component of the brain of humans and other vertebrates) gets peeled back. And it results in affecting the brain’s problem-solving and other cognitive functions.
Don’t Be Judgmental
One of the prime traits of a likeable person is that s/he is open-minded. When you meet a group of people and if you want to be the most likeable one in the room, you can’t be someone who would throw judgment on others.
The prime idea behind being an open-minded folk is to be someone who is willing to talk to and listen to each and every one. You might meet folks from different walks of life, folks who might not agree to your thought process, but that doesn’t mean you would avoid them — allow everyone to have their say, allow them to offer their thoughts and ideas.
Once you start doing this, you would see a significant difference — a difference in the way people treat you.
For God’s Sake, Ditch Your Phone
No doubt, smartphones have made our lives much easier — whether you want to order food, book a cab or want to make a friend online, everything on your fingertips.
However, it is also a double-edged sword — it’s cutting us off from the real world. You all might have noticed, there is always one person in the room busy on the phone while others are exchanging talks and socialising. It’s absolutely not a good habit.
When you are with someone, refrain yourself from using your phone or any other digital device. Using your phone, again and again, just to check on your emails or scroll through your social media feed would fail you miserable in making connections and building relationships.
Focus on the person you are talking to — mingle with people around you!
Talk And Let Talk
Another trait of a likeable person is that s/he let other people talk. There are many people who are talkative and there’s nothing wrong being one. However, that doesn’t mean you are going to cut off everyone and keep talking.
To get that spotlight, you have to let others talk, share their experiences as well. Always remember, if you are not a good listener then you can never be a good speaker. Don’t be garrulous!
Also, always be there to the rescue! Wondering how? For instance, someone is telling a story and gets interrupted in between, and now that person is just awkwardly standing by, wondering if anyone was even listening to him/her. You be the superhero and rescue him/her — “Hey, can you continue that story, please? I want to hear the rest. It was so interesting.”
Remember Names. Call Them By Their Names!
Dale Carnegie once said, “A person’s name to that person is the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”
Your name is the greatest connection to your identity and individuality — it is the most important word to you in this whole wide world. And it feels good when someone calls you by your name mid-conversation.
So, make sure when you meet a bunch of people, remember their names. If you find it difficult to put names to faces, be honest — tell them you are bad at remembering names at. Come up with a sporty strategy — guess their names again and if you fail you buy them a drink or ice cream, maybe!
This is the most important one! Always make sure you don’t fake it — fake your personality or try to copy someone else. Be yourself!
Everyone has a story and every story is unique in its own. Talk about the most fun thing you have done lately — someone else might have something more fun than you, but that shouldn’t bother you. Talk about things you are proud of, talk about your failures, talk about your life.
Being likeable is completely under your control. You have to master the traits and skills. Therefore, to make the best out of this article:
- You have to keep every point in mind
- Frame different scenarios and imagine using them
- Apply it when you are at an event or gathering the next time
- Keep practising
- Don’t step back if you fail. Try again!
If I have missed out on something or if you know any traits/tips/points that are important and people should know about, put it in the comment box below. We definitely will share them with people on social media.